A friend that gets… I don’t look sick.
Reflections after I saw the tiktok at the bottom of the page.
I have a friend she knows what I’m truly feeling because I tell her. She has asked enough and I give the answer I give everyone but the people I know get it. (Meaning you have what I have @rising_zebra) This friend doesn’t have it yet she knows. She will call me out and say I know that but how are you? How is your body? …. And I know she knows. I am lucky to say have a a few friends that heat it because they got it, a few that relate in their own way, and a few that could never imagine but get it cause they know me. However, @fearless.revolution always makes it known she gets it. And not in a way where she gets it herself but she gets it for ME.
She has seen me at so high hugs and some lowest of the fucking lows. She has seen me healthy and she has seen me at almost my unhealthiest. And when I give blanket answers that even family can’t see or know when it’s time to call out she does. I’m lucky enough that’s there’s a good chance if she doesn’t catch it cause I’m avoiding her 3 others would maybe 4 😅. Yet Orisha always calls me out and makes it known she knows more than those that have been in my life my entire life.
While my health is not of this nature it is life long and if you go to my story to watch the full video you will get it’s ok.
I don’t look sick and I don’t have to. Like wtf is that saying to someone? How does sick look? Cause typing this I’m pretty small. Smaller than I’d like to be or admit. Smallest I was since I was my sickest I’ll ever be. I won’t claim to be sick and quite frankly I’m sick of having to deal with situations in my personal life that are causing me to bring so much attention to disability as enough has as it is. While it is something I am not ashamed of I am over labeling and identifying especially when it’s not useful. I find power in my health that some may refer to as being dealt a shirt hand. I find strength in overcoming things drs say I wouldn’t. I find joy in doing all the things I desire that others said wouldn’t be possible with my health while never putting myself or health at risk.
I am healing and I am breaking boundaries I otherwise wouldn’t because of my determination. And it’s not to prove people wrong or to prove to others that I can. It’s to be the healthiest I can be no matter the hand I was dealt. So what the hand was slopped in bayou gator shit and lost in the southern baking sun for days before it was found. I was delay it I am floating in the waves and I am moving forward.
It’s not useful to get upset, to throw a pity party, to get angry, to cry until you can’t anymore (just causes more tension and pain for me), to get mad at your parents because it revolved around DNA, to wish it ‘could’ be any different (not possible).
It couldn’t or shouldn’t have because it didn’t. No other way for it to be. So I take the hand I have been given and I glisten and I glisten and grow in the best way I can for me and I help you do the same for you. Why you? Because no one can do my journey or yours we all have our own. We all have paths that are for us and this girl embraces that and the judges to humble themselves and stop making a joke of everything that’s uncomfortable. If you’re ready for your golden ticket especially if you were dealt shit health then reach out. I got you. 💜
Inspired by this TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8KYn8wY/
